Apocalypse now: Twelve Girls Band enters Billboard chart

Today the Twelve Girls Band's album "Eastern Energy" entered the Billboard Top 200 Chart at number 62.

Surely someone else must be disturbed by this.

If you haven't seen their TV commercial (transcript below) or been to one of their reportedly sold-out shows, they are "one dozen beautiful young [Chinese] women, all in their twenties," who play "an array of exotic and ancient musical instruments. ... Each member is conservatory trained and a veteran of top orchestras."

They do covers of Coldplay tunes on erhu.  They also do some Enya and music from Riverdance.

Actually, it's not even that that I find most disturbing. Nor is it the fact that they have supposedly sold more than 2 million albums in Japan alone. It's the "limited-edition, 24-panel, full-color, Twelve Girls Band pocket photo album" that you get free when you call the number on your TV screen. What kind of person needs to carry a fold-up photo album of 12 nubile Chinese girls in their pocket? Eeek.

The Twelve Girls Band's Yahoo group is very excited about the Girls' current tour of the US. Gentlemen like Michael (mychinapassion at yahoo.com), M. Perry (E_Bear), and M. Henderson, who peppers his posts with Chinese, are ardent fans. But I am most curious about M. Ross from Texas, whose profile lists among his interests Romance, Relationships, Heartbreak, Older Men for Younger Women, Interracial, Dating, Breaking Up, Male Genitalia, Beijing, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Korea (South), Submission, Adult, and Role Playing. Oh, and Space Exploration.

All this Asian fetishism reminded me for some reason of the delightful game at All Look Same. After you're done with that, you can also test your gaydar (both men and women) at OK Cupid. (Apparently I'm much better at identifying men than women.) And if you still haven't gotten yourself fired, try your hand at Dog Toy or Marital Aid.

If you want to hear a real pipa player kick ass, check out Wu Man. And if you haven't seen the Twelve Girls Band's commercial, watch more TV! In the meantime, here's the transcript, which is read by a British guy with a hushed yet discomfitingly excited voice.

~~~~~~

Discover the most innovative band to hit our shores in decades! This is the Twelve Girls Band.

"Eastern Energy," the debut album by Twelve Girls Band, features twelve of China's most gifted musicians playing traditional Chinese instruments, with a deliciously modern groove.

POWERFUL
MOVING
ENERGIZING
TRANSCENDENT

Twelve Girls Band has taken the world by storm. They've sold millions of records and performed to sold-out stadiums around the world.

Order "Eastern Energy" by Twelve Girls Band: 14 songs, over 1 hour of music, plus this DVD, which includes concert footage and a behind-the-scenes look into the Twelve Girls Band. Both music and DVD for only $19.98, and only through this TV offer, you will receive this limited-edition, 24-panel, full-color, Twelve Girls Band pocket photo album free.

"Eastern Energy" by Twelve Girls Band is a rhythmic inferno! Get swept away by the power of "Eastern Energy," featuring their inspiring version of the #1 smash hit, "Clocks."

Be a part of the international music sensation that has astonished the world. Twelve Girls Band -- get their new album today!

Call now to order "Eastern Energy" by Twelve Girls Band on CD and DVD for only $19.98 plus $4.95 shipping and handling, and get the photo album absolutely free. Or order online at www.twelvegirlsband.com, rush delivery available. Call now!

[A big xie-xie to Mme H- who captured this on her Tivo.]

Comments

[Jessica]

Back in 1996 or whatever, a college friend of mine wrote a punk song about "boys with yellow fever." She wrote song after the release of the Weezer album "Pinkerton"-- named after (that's right!) the character in "Madama Butterfly." Creepy, creepy Rivers Cuomo-- I guess we know of ONE person who will attend the Twelve Girls Band concert.

[Comrade E]

Creeeeepy indeed.

I am not an expert but 12 Gs sounds about the same as most China Top 40 songs over the last 5 years. What makes these girls really special, is their original white attire. I bet the highest expense on their tour is bleach.

[Eddie]

To Jessica and Whoever,

Hey! Whether you call it yellow fever, rice fever, or whatever, I do not have the fever, I got the rice plague, or yellow plague, call it what you want. Caucasian women cannot even come close to the beauty and sensually of Asian women.

You cannot help but to be a fan of the 12 Girls Band once you can get past your the trailer park mentality and listen to their beautiful and artful music. The talent and intellectually that these women present on stage can be considered nothing more than pure enjoyment.

It’s refreshing to see highly educated and trained musical artist performing, rather than some loud noise high school dropouts coming from a garage calling themselves musicians.

If you cannot like and enjoy the TwelveGirlsBand, you are apparently lacking in what a reasonable person would call musical taste.

Eddie

[Dana]

Is it somehow not a fetish when Asian men prefer Asian women? Strange that I don't hear many blonde women complain about men liking that characteristic. You sound like a woman who is having trouble facing this issue herself. As if Beyonce, J. Lo and Brittany Spears weren't selected based on their appearance. Do you really think most Asian women don't have preferences themselves? I bet you do. Maybe you just prefer racial groups to stay segregated. Consider joing the modern world.

[Dana]

Regarding the music... I can't see how anyone can say this is not at least a fresh and interesting addition to popular culture. Considering the overwhelming waves or boring material, these old world sounds are certainly welcome. Seriously, look at the women. Do you really think they were all chosen for appearance? They can all play which makes them at least as relevant as Shania Twain, Faith Hill or any of the other beautiful faces we see in popular music today.

[andy]

nice chin site )