Think Denk's MadLibs Classical Concert Review

Indeed, it's not so far from the truth sometimes.

HEADLINE: Chamber Concert Culminates In Applause, Bows

Felix Mendelssohn’s Octet is not the freshest work to sully our ears in recent times, comprising self-evidently a well-worn chestnut, but one assumes it was fresh when it was written.  Such, if any, seemed to be the contention of the MOIST musicians who performed with 99 BOTTLES FULL of verve last evening at the BEAKER MCFARQUHAR Performing Arts Center.  Whether this verve was SLIGHTLY OFF-SMELLING, this critic is not yet prepared to offer judgment.

If the musicians seemed a bit TAUPE at the first, perhaps this was due to the bowstrokes of LITWAK, reminiscent more of GATEAU VICTOIRE than a RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS MEET. This critic, let me tell you, will be none too eager to hear the music of PUCCINI again, as his PUREE of dissonance seems merely a STOMACH-CHURNING rehash of REICHA. But, I don’t wish to be critical. Tender moments AGITATED, and the able musicians were not entirely GERMINATING.

The concert proceeded onwards, after its first piece, to the second, and to the rhythmic PARRY of the duo pianists in BOULEZ'S "ANOMIE." Though their accuracy was not always utterly REMINISCENT OF THE YEAR'S FIRST APPEARANCE OF PIMENTONS AT THE MARKET, their CLOISONNE and GENOUX somewhat MASSAGED.  Mr. DENK seemed to approach the 88 keys with a bit more SKYR, but this was more than grounded by Mr. LIPSCHITZ’s aggressive, HAGGIS-like sensibilities.

However, all Gallic HAGIOGRAPHY was forgotten in the welcomed aftermath of intermission, when, refreshed, the musicians strutted Germanically back onstage to somewhat deserved applause to play the third and final previously mentioned work. KUZNETZOVA soared through the familiar work with PUDDLES of virtuosic WHEATGERM which reminded us of none more than the youthful GERALD FORD. Other players also SQUATTED with aplomb, particularly NIKKI CUMMINGS, whose vibrato was not unlike her ASYMMETRIC BOB. The Scherzo especially oozed with humor and BADINAGE, yet no one was laughing, least of all this listener, when the players dedicated the HEART-RENDING encore to the memory of ANNA-NICOLE SMITH.

All in all, the evening, despite certain caveats, was a musical CALAMINE LOTION, and made a convincing BREAD MACHINE, if nothing else.

Comments

[cedichou]

This is all new & spiffy around here. You redecorated?

Next time I see you, ask me about Prince, okay?